


Our Mrs Cobb

by Ultra



Category: Firefly
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Canon Rewrite, Deleted Scenes, Engagement, Episode: s01e06 Our Mrs. Reynolds, F/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-01
Updated: 2009-10-01
Packaged: 2019-08-03 15:46:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16328903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: The Captain took a wife, and River likes the idea of marriage too... but her choice for husband might be questionable.





	Our Mrs Cobb

**Author's Note:**

> A 'missing scene' from Our Mrs Reynolds, based on an actual deleted scene for that episode which can be found on the DVD boxset.

As he strode through the ship, past the medical room, Jayne was startled by the feel of slender fingers wrapping around his own, turning him away from the straight line he meant to walk.

“Tell him now,” her girlish tone half-begged, half-demanded as he looked back at River, then at the Preacher who was just now descending the stairs.

“Tell me what?” Shepherd Book asked curiously as he cleared the final step and looked oddly at the pair before him.

Jayne looked from the Preacher to River, to their still joined hands, and back. He shook his head then and made to pull his hand away from her.

“I dunno what the gorram hell she’s talkin’ ‘bout Shepherd,” he declared as the girl in question fought to keep her grip on his fingers.

“Tell him. About us,” she urged him, a smile about her lips that didn’t match her aggravated tone. “About how it’s to be,” she insisted as they looked to be play-fighting over whether they were holding hands or not.

“What ya talkin’ ‘bout, Crazy?” Jayne asked her seriously. “Ain’t nothin’ about us to tell no-one. Ain’t no us at all.”

“Well, that is a blessing, I’m sure,” Shepherd Book said more to himself than anyone, as River and Jayne continued their odd battle, eyes glaring, hands flailing, both as determined as each other and yet not daring to hurt each other - it was almost as if they were a couple really.

“Blessing, yes,” she declared, eyes wide and innocent, grin just as bright as the stars as she turned from a stunned Jayne to grab up both of the Preacher’s hands now. “We want you to marry us.” She grinned, bouncing on her toes like an excited kid - Jayne was beyond shocked.

“You want him to what now, you crazy gorram witch?”

“Make husband and wife.” She rolled her eyes, as she quit her bouncing at least and looked seriously at him now. “Captain took a wife.” She shrugged, as if this whole thing were obvious and she couldn’t see why anyone else had a problem with it. “Two by two,” she implored them to understand, “like the symbol says,” she reminded the Shepherd, who looked pained.

“Well, yes, the Bible does mention-”

“Then affirmative, definite, perfect.” She smiled widely, practically dancing from Book to Jayne who could only gawk at her in shock.

Little River Tam was talkin’ ‘bout marryin’ him? Hell, if she weren’t crazy then the whole gorram world must be, he reckoned. Though he had to admit, if’n only to his ownself, that bein’ tied to a woman like her would have its perks.

“Lock away in the vault,” she said then, startling Jayne from a fair torrent of unsuitably filthy thoughts and fantasies that free-wheeled through his head. “Keep the key hidden ‘til the wedding night,” she whispered close to him.

Innocent and childlike to seductive temptress inside thirty seconds, hell, if’n Jayne hadn’t seem her as a possible partner before, he was sure lookin’ now!

“River, I really don’t think...” the Shepherd began, receiving a sharp glare as she clearly anticipated his next words. “You know just because the Captain got himself a wife, that doesn’t mean-”

“We’re in love,” she cut in abruptly, making Jayne gape at the unexpected confession.

It was stupid. He knew how moon-brained she was, how in a few hours, maybe even less, she would forget she ever said any of this. Still, didn’t change the fact she was sayin’ it now, words he ain’t never heard meant for him in such a way.

“Perhaps I should locate Simon,” Book turned away then, catching Jayne’s eye over River’s head. “I know you heard me talking to the Captain,” he told the mercenary, with a look that said a lot more.

Yeah, Jayne had heard about the special hell a fella could burn in if’n he took advantage of some young innocent thing, but right now he’d risk it.

With Book gone, he was left alone with River, and she was lookin’ at him with all kinds of lust and such in her eyes. It was easy to forget how young she was, times like this.

“She can make you happy,” she promised.through her eyelashes at him.

For a full minute they stood there, close together, her waiting for something, anything to come next, and him fighting every manly urge he had to grab her and kiss her til she was as dizzy as she was alluring right now.

Mal clattering down the steps with his bride on his heels was somewhere between a welcome distraction and a damn nuisance to Jayne, though he said not a word either way.

River stunned him all over again then, not mentioning a word of love or marriage, only accusing Saffron of theft and treachery.

Still, as Jayne strode away, he spared a glance back over his shoulder and saw River was still watching him, her smile suggesting her wedding plans were not entirely forgotten.

It was the weirdest thing but Jayne felt oddly pleased about that, though he’d never figure out why, and he’d never, ever, tell another living soul about it.


End file.
